


You Are The Bane Of My Existence

by the_sun_is_a_deadly_laser



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: David Acting as Max's Parental Figure | Dadvid (Camp Camp), Foster Care, Gen, Past Child Abuse, just good ol' fashion Dadvid, none of this is going to be even remotely original
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26150938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sun_is_a_deadly_laser/pseuds/the_sun_is_a_deadly_laser
Summary: Camp Campbell, as all things, finally comes to an end.Camper's parents come and pick them up. Neil leaves. Nikki leaves. Max, on the other hand, is still at camp late into the night. He disappears and David finds him on the dock."I told you. They're not coming."
Relationships: David & Gwen (Camp Camp), David & Max (Camp Camp), Gwen & Max (Camp Camp), Max & Nikki & Neil
Comments: 7
Kudos: 154





	1. I Told You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes it just hits me how much i love Dadvid. like, it's so pure???

"I mean, if you think about it, if we all commute at the same time, we could see each other every weekend with only thirty minutes each!" Neil said happily. 

"Ooh! Yeah! Mom, you'll drive me, right?" 

"Oh, Nicolette," Candy said in her weird accent, "you know I can't keep up with you!" 

Nikki stared at her for a moment before exclaiming excitedly, "So you're giving me permission to steal your car?!" 

Candy stumbled over her words for a moment before Neil's dad showed up from behind her. 

"Oh! Candy! Fancy meeting you here!" 

"Oh, fuck me," Neil said under his breath, walking away. Nikki and Max followed him. 

"By the end of this," Max said, grinning, "you two will be step-siblings." 

Neil exclaimed in disgust as Nikki perked up. 

"I want to do something with my life," Neil moaned. "I don't need Nikki messing up all my experiments!" 

"Hey," Nikki said reproachfully. "I'm your assistant." 

"I never told you to do that. You started doing that. I told you to stop." 

Nikki switched topics quickly, because of course she did. "Hey, where are your parents, Max?" 

Max scoffed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "With my luck, they just won't show up." 

"Aw, come on!" Nikki grinned. "They'll come! They can't just leave you here." 

He rolled his eyes. "They can, too." 

Neil produced a notebook and a pen from nowhere. "Hey, give me your numbers!" 

Nikki grabbed the pen and wrote her number down in her chicken scratch. Max took it after her and looked at it. And then he shoved it back into Neil's hands. 

"I don't have a phone," he said dryly. 

Neil frowned. "Really?" 

"I mean," Max pulled David's phone out of his hoodie pocket, "I'm thinking I might just steal David's, so I'll give you his." 

"Max, is that a good idea?" Nikki asked. 

"Do you think I give a shit? I can fuck with his dating life from afar. Hey, do you think Bonquisha's his type?" 

"Uh-" 

"Nicolette! Let's go." 

Nikki pouted. "Aw! Okay, well, I'll see you guys." 

Max felt like he was watching a part of himself walk away. It hurt. 

"Nikki," he heard himself saying, "I'll see you next summer." 

Nikki beamed at him and Neil. "Yeah! Next summer. Bye, guys!" 

"Bye!" Neil called, waving. 

Nikki turned to the forest and barked at it. A moment later, a wolf came out and they said goodbye to each other, too. And then she hopped in a car, and, waving at them, she was gone. 

"Bye, Max! Bye, Neil!" 

Max rolled his eyes. "Bye, Space Kid." 

Neil only waved. "You know, I've never understood that kid." 

Max leaned against one of the posts holding up the peeling Camp Campbell sign. "I've never understood anybody at this piece of shit camp." 

"Language!" came David's voice. 

The two of them turned around to see David looking at them with his hands on his hips, at least fifty feet away. 

"How the fuck did you hear that?" 

"Max," Gwen said tiredly, "could you just be a decent human being until you leave, please?" 

_Joke's on you. I'll probably be living on the streets after this._

Max turned around and leaned against the post. Neil held out the notepad and Max wrote down David's number. Pretty soon, Neil's dad came over and led him away. 

The smile he sent Max had him clenching his jaw, willing back all the emotions that were bubbling just below the surface. 

Harrison left. 

Then Nurf. 

Then Erid and Narris. 

And then Max was alone. 

"Gosh, when do you think your parents are going to come?" David asked worriedly. 

"Yeah, Max," Gwen said. "I mean, the sun's setting." 

Max smiled bitterly. "Remember when they didn't show up to parent's day? Yeah." 

"Max," Gwen said firmly, "your parents didn't forget you." 

"Yeah, I'm sure," he deadpanned. "This is a decision. They're leaving me here." 

"They would never do that," David said in his David voice, which made Max's eye twitch. 

He walked away from them. 

"Max!" 

"Just call me if they show up," Max yelled back, waving David's phone in the air. 

"Gee, how does he keep getting that?" he heard David ask Gwen. 

"I've seen him _literally_ take it out of your hand." 

"Just now?" 

"No, you idiot. He's had it all day." 

"Huh. Well, that's peculiar." 

"Not really. He's been doing it all summer." 

Max finally got out of earshot and walked to the end of the dock, where he plopped down and started scrolling through David's music. 

"Who the fuck only listens to nature noises and musical theater?" he muttered. Well, he knew Newsies. 

_See them streets down there? They sucked the life out of my ol' man, but they ain't doin' that to me!_

At least an hour passed and the sun had just begun to sink under the horizon. Someone was walking to the end of the dock, accompanied by the smell of pizza. So Max looked up and saw David holding two trays. 

"Can I sit?" 

Max looked back at the water. "I don't care." 

So David sat down and handed Max a tray. He muttered his thanks and began eating. 

"I- Max, I-" 

"What?" Max snapped. "Spit it out." 

He heard David gulp. "Don't lose hope. I'm sure they're just... late." 

Max exhaled a laugh. "I didn't have hope in the first place." 

"Max-" 

"I told you," he said, a slight tremor in his voice, "they're not coming." 

He could tell that David wanted to say something else, but he didn't ask. After a couple of minutes of silence, David tried to put his arm around Max's shoulders, but Max shoved him off. 

"Don't touch me." 

"I'm sorry, Max-" 

He pushed himself up. "Just leave it. Thanks for the pizza." 

And then he left. He walked to his tent and sat down on his cot. Tears stung the back of his eyes and he let out a soft, desperate, lonely noise that he never wanted to hear himself make again. Tears were falling down his face, and no matter how much he wiped them, or how much he got angry at himself, he couldn't stop. 

Someone opened the flap of his tent. 

"Max." 

It was Gwen. 

"Are you-" 

"Leave me alone!" he yelled. "God! Why can't you take a fucking hint? They're not coming! So send me to an orphanage or some shit! I don't care!" 

"Max," she said, sounding appalled. "We would never send you to an orphanage-" 

"Whatever." 

She didn't move. 

"Leave." 

"Uh... do you want to come and stay in the counselor's cabin with us? We're gonna make popcorn and watch Dark Reflections-" 

He stared at her. "David wants to watch Dark Reflections?" 

She sat down on his cot and looked off into the distance. "No, but I do. I told him it was an old show about life in the 70s." 

"Huh." 

She smiled at him. "Come on. It'll be fun." 

He wiped his tears. "If you told David I was crying, I'll-" 

"Murder me in my sleep, I know. Come on. Let's watch David shit himself." 

Max got up off of his cot, saying, "No, I think he's more of a piss yourself guy." 

Gwen thought about it for a second. "Yeah, you're right. Do you want to make him watch The Arrival of the Torso Takers?" 

He laughed a little. "Yeah. He'll shit himself." 

"Fingers crossed." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, it's short. i'll be back later with longer things


	2. Memories Aren't Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dunno. things progress?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more of a filler chapter setting y'all up for the real story which will begin in chapter 3

David did not, in fact, shit himself. Or piss himself. Max was disappointed about that, but it was still pretty funny to watch him scream. 

"Max!" David said later, "It is well past your bedtime!" 

Max gave him a dry look. "David, no one else is here."

David's finger dropped. "Oh, well- uh-" 

"Eh, let him stay up," Gwen said, waving her hand. "You know he will either way." 

"A young boy needs at least eight hours of sleep-" 

"Yeah, well, a young boy needs parents, too. So." 

An awkward silence fell over the cabin as Max stuffed his hands in his pockets and glared at the TV, watching without seeing. 

"Max..." 

"What do you want?" 

"I don't-" Gwen sighed. "What do you want us to do?" 

"About this? Nothing." Max jumped off the end of Gwen's bed, leaving her alone. "I'll figure something out." 

"Max," David said disapprovingly, "we can't just turn you loose!" 

"The hell you can't!" he shot back. "Jesus. I'll see you tomorrow." 

Slamming the cabin door behind him, he stayed behind and listened to them. Because he was a little shit. 

"What do we do?" David asked. "Maybe his parents just got the pickup date wrong!" 

"David," Gwen said sadly, "we both know that's not true." 

"But-" 

"No, David. We- I don't want to put him into foster care. Those kids- they aren't taken care of." 

"Gwen, how do you know that?" 

"I had a friend," she said shortly. "But we can't put him in the system. I guess we could sue for neglection. We should probably ask Max what other abuse there's been." 

That's when Max turned around and walked away. His hands were shaking. He clenched his jaw as he went into his now-empty tent. Laying down on his cot, he squeezed his eyes shut. 

His mother was an alcoholic. His father was powerful and didn't care about him. 

Well, his wellbeing. When he was little, he ran into the room when his father's business colleagues were there. He tripped on the rug, making his father stumble into someone he was trying to make a deal with, spilling champagne onto an expensive Italian suit. 

After apologizing profusely, he took Max outside and hit him across the face. 

That's how it started. 

After that, it was hitting and then punching and kicking, being used as an ashtray, and the withholdment of food. 

It was summer. There was obviously some suspicion as to why he was always wearing a sweatshirt. 

The truth was that there was a giant scar on his arm after his father burned him with a fire poker. It felt like a brand. Something Max could never get away from. Something that mocked him each time he looked at it. 

"Fuck!" 

Max sat up, breathing heavily. He chucked his pillow against the wall of the tent. 

_"Fuck!"_

Getting up, he walked angrily for... a while. He was on autopilot. He walked the shore of the lake until he reached the Flower Scout's fucking _mansion._ It was dark. No one was there. 

"Huh," he said noncommittally. "Never thought I'd miss Tabii with two Is."

Sighing, he looked out over the water to Spooky Island. Someone was waving good-naturedly from the shore. He had light-up shoes. Max waved back before continuing on his way around the lake. And then it hit him. He turned back to the island, yelling, 

"What the _fuck?"_

But nobody was there. Frowning, he squinted at it. 

The platypus mwuaked from beside him. 

"You didn't see shit." 

"Mwuak." 

He sighed. "Whatever. Cannibal." 

As he was walking past the Woodscouts, he saw Petrol standing on the offensive wall, patrolling. Instead of attacking like Max expected him too, he gave Max a nod. Too tired to question it, Max nodding back, walking until he made it back to Camp Campbell. 

He wanted some coffee. 

So we walked to the mess hall and was about to go inside when he saw that the Quartermaster's Store was open. 

"Well," he muttered to himself, "this is a stupid fucking idea." 

Quietly, he crept over to the open door and peeked in. He frowned at what he saw. 

The Quartermaster was suspended from the rafters, upside down, asleep, with his arms crossed like a bat. Max slowly closed the door and walked away, eyes wide. 

The door to the mess hall, as usual, was unlocked. So Max went in and brewed himself some coffee. He stayed there all night. Eventually, Quartermaster woke up and started making breakfast. They didn't talk. Max got more coffee. Eventually, David and Gwen came in.

"Oh," Gwen said in surprise, "you're up." 

"Mm." 

"Great!" David chirped nervously. "We have some questions." 

Max put his mug down, sighing, as David and Gwen sat across from him. 

"Look, this'll be hard-" 

"Jesus fucking Christ, spit it out!" Max said angrily, knowing what the question was. 

Gwen took a breath. "Have you ever been... abused?" 

"Physically, mentally, emotionally?" 

Max gave them a dead look. "Yes, yes, and yes." 

"Oh, shit," Gwen whispered. "Badly?" 

"Yes," Max said through his teeth. 

"Max," David said shakily, "I'm going to need you to take off your sweatshirt." 

Oh, _fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i seem to be incapable of writing longer chapters. i am sorry


	3. The Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> decisions are being made

"Why don't you take off your stupid bandana?" Max said in a panic. "How do we know you haven't- uh, like, your head isn't attached to your body!" 

David and Gwen stared at him for a moment. 

"Like... that children's story?" Gwen asked. "With the ribbon?" 

"Yeah!" Max yelled. "That could be him!" 

David looked at him pityingly. Max _hated_ being pitied. 

"The fuck you looking at, long legs?" 

David sighed. "I- Max, please." 

"Max," Gwen said tiredly, "please take off your sweatshirt." 

"Uh-" 

They couldn't see. They _couldn't._ His father would hurt him. Hell, his father would probably _kill_ him. 

"No," he said stubbornly, a slight tremor in his voice. "Fuck you." 

"Max," Gwen deadpanned, "you little shit." 

"Why do you want to see me naked, anyway? Does it help you get your jollies off?" 

"MAX," Gwen yelled. "We are _trying_ to help you. Did your parents _abuse_ you?" 

Max clenched his jaw. His blunt nails bit into his palms as he tried to stop them from shaking. He gulped and said, 

"Everyone's parents abuse them." His voice was perfectly cold. "Of course my parents do." 

"Max." 

He and Gwen looked at David in shock. His voice was stern, commanding, and desperate. David looked at him with pleading eyes. 

"Take off your sweatshirt. Please." 

Max couldn't breathe. His hands started moving, gripping the hem of his protective sweatshirt. He pulled it up, over his head. He knew the exact moment that Gwen and David saw the big scar on his arm because they gasped. 

"Oh my god-" Gwen said. "Max- Max, that's-" 

"A scar," he said coldly. "No shit." 

"What happened?" David asked. 

"Fire poker," he shrugged. 

" _Fire_ poker?" Gwen repeated, outraged. "Who did this? Your father?" 

Max's eyes started to sting. He nodded. 

"What else did he do?" 

He looked at David. He was sitting up straight. His hands were intertwined in front of him and he looked calm. It scared Max because he saw anger underneath that. It reminded him of his father. When he was mad, he was calm. It was terrifying. 

He shook his head. No, he wouldn't be scared of David. David would never hurt him. Ever. He was a literal noodle. 

"Well," Max said quietly, "there's usually bruises." 

"He hits you, too?" Gwen asked. He nodded. 

"And kicks," he added meekly. "Sometimes... uh, sometimes, he'll put out cigarettes on my back." 

Gwen slammed her fist on the table. "That son of a bitch, I'll _kill_ him-" 

"Gwen," David said, his voice shaking, "we need to go to the police." 

Max's body jolted forward as he yelled, "No!" 

He was met with Gwen's wide, shocked eyes, and David's sad, understanding face. "You- he'll pay off the police. You can't do that." 

David sighs. "Mr. Campbell has a safe," he said softly. "It's filled with his emergency gambling money. We could take it. Hire a good attorney." 

"That's a good plan," Gwen said, mostly to herself. "He wouldn't even notice it's gone."

"It doesn't matter!" Max yelled desperately. "If you _do_ do this dumb fucking plan, it'll just make him angry." 

David stood up. "Well, I'm angry, too. If he wants to get to you, he'll have to go through me." 

With that, he walked out of the dining hall. Max and Gwen looked at each other. 

"My dad could go through him-" 

"Effortlessly, yeah," Gwen sighed. "Okay, Max, you get that we're not letting you go back there, right?" 

Max scoffed as he put back on his sweatshirt. "Yeah, sure. I don't think it's really gonna be your choice." 

"Don't underestimate us, you little shit." 

"Because you have nothing better to be doing?" Max said as he got up to get himself some coffee. 

"Because I have nothing better to be doing," Gwen confirmed, "but because... I care about you, Max. So does David." 

"Gee, thanks," he said sarcastically, meaning it. 

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Just get some breakfast. David and I have a lawyer to hire." 

And she left, too, leaving Max in the dining hall, sipping coffee, his hands shaking, worrying about the future. 

"I'll blow him up for you," came Quartermaster's voice. 

"Nah, man," Max sighed. "That's okay." 

"No. I want to." 

Rolling his eyes, Max took a sip of his coffee. "Yeah, I know." 

"Can I?" 

"No." Well... "Not now. Maybe later." 

\---

Later in his tent, Max was on his bed, trying to sleep through this hell hole of a situation. 

"Hey, Max?" 

"The fuck do you want, David?" 

"I found a lawyer." 

Max turned on his side, away from David, and clenched his fingers around his pillow. "Good for you." 

"She's from New York. She has a great resume." 

"I bet she costs a shit ton." 

"That doesn't matter," David said softly. Max heard him step into the tent and sit on the ground. "Max, I have a question." 

"What?" he spat, fighting back tears. He was so scared. 

"If this works... and I think it will, uh, I know we don't see eye to eye, but I was hoping that after the dust settles, you'd consider coming to live with me." 

Fucking _what?_

"I live a little ways up the road. I don't actually live here. Or in a tent." He laughed to himself. "Do you know how hard it would be to live outside in the winter? In Maine?" David cleared his throat. "I have enough room for you. And I would love to have you there. Just... think about it, okay?" 

Max swallowed. His throat hurt. "Okay." 

"Really?" David sounded so happy. 

"Sure, David. Whatever." 

"Thank you, Max." 

When Max didn't respond, David got up and left his tent. After a couple of seconds, Max turned into his pillow and slammed his fists into it, throwing a mini temper tantrum. 

"Fucking _fuck!"_

His voice was muffled by his pillow. He groaned.

"Fucking _fuck."_

His dad was going to actually kill him. And David. And Gwen. Hell, he might even burn down the camp. Something interrupted Max's wallowing. He looked up. 

"Davy? Gwanda?" 

He dropped his head back into his pillow. 

"You've got to be _fucking_ kidding me." 

The flap of his tent pushed open and he heard, "Oh, uh... you! Where's Davy?" 

Max rolled over and got up, glaring into the face of Cameron Campbell. 

"In the goddamn counselor's cabin." 

"Oh! Right! Come along, now! We have to go inform them of the good news!" 

Max pinched the bridge of his nose. Well, this ought to be good. 


End file.
